How to Avoid the Acceptance Trap

By Mamiko Odegard, Ph.D. Are you ready to claim your true value without having to wait for others to like, accept, approve of and love you? Recognize the fear within you that needs the validation of your worth. What is it that is keeping you from that goal? Is it years of messages drawn from your earliest memories? Messages that you’re not good enough, not thin enough, not smart enough… even not lovable enough? It’s time to purge yourself from the agony of painful beliefs that you’ve carried all these years. Once you’ve identified your sabotaging beliefs, it’s time to formulate new ones that help you to heal and enjoy a happier and more successful life. If you find that you don’t believe these new, more supportive beliefs about yourself, then go back to your fears. Maybe you’re afraid that if you form affirming new beliefs that you are capable and worthy, you’ll be simply “fooling yourself.” Or maybe you fear being vulnerable and getting hurt. Yes, rejection does hurt. But remember, the price of pretending to be someone you’re not is high: it costs you your personal power, your well-being and your peace. You become what you think As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t—you’re right.” It’s time to step up and be your own nurturing parent or friend. Give yourself these affirmations:

“I am learning to accept and love myself more and more each day.”

“I like this about myself: ________.”

“I am taking charge of my life: my thoughts, feelings and actions.”

“As I practice self care, I am showing love to myself.”

“I surround myself with those persons who are caring, supportive and loving towards me.”

By thinking and saying these affirmations daily, you will grow in your own esteem and acceptance. You don’t have to be perfect! You just need to start now and let yourself believe in, and let yourself be, the miraculous person you really are.